1. |
Never On Board
02:42
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First time we spoke, taught you to sew,
it wasn’t pretty but so far the sutures held-
It seems this came so seamlessly
Our phone calls continued to be static
with a repeating refrain of,
‘I don’t knows-’
I didn’t know what to say,
I don’t know why you stayed
or why you complain instead of change.
I keep imagining the mountain
of cigarette butts I’ve smoked my short life,
I counted them out as I added to and added them up-
I wonder if it’s the biggest you’ll see,
the biggest mountain you’ll ever see… part of.
The busses keep goin’
This bus just keeps moving on
and you’re on it or you’re not
I told you it waits for no one.
You were never on board
for Boston, Philly, not Pittsburgh or Salt Lake City.
I won’t apologize for changing-
I won’t apologize for wanting change.
Last time we spoke, you forgot how to sew-
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2. |
Dragging My Feet
03:53
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My friend broke his rib the other day
slipped and fell on the book under his arm;
it happened in an instant,
he got back up and moved on.
I like short books for the same reasons I hate long goodbyes-
it’s the length that’s the weight I’ll carry around all the time.
Some days I’m dragging my feet.
I climbed on my roof today to feel like things were looking up.
Lately I look backward at all the things I fucked up.
Feel this metronome in my chest beating itself up inside,
this fist fighting death just stalls for more time.
Some days I’m dragging my feet.
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3. |
I Can Tell Already
03:28
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I’m going to can this summer
so I can pour it over pasta this winter;
I’ll eat it in bed when I get snowed in
and I’ll call you to chew loudly
to cover up that I’m crying-
‘cause I can tell already
I’ll miss you.
She told me, ‘pick them by feel,’
I recall while picking tomatoes in the dark.
Some are mushy, some are hard,
some think they’ve lost their chance,
some think that they’re expired-
but some aren’t ready.
I wasn’t ready.
I can tell already-
I’m hanging habaneros to remember the heat,
stealing honeycomb to remember the sweet,
I’m the worst vegan you’ll ever meet
but I hope we meet again!
‘Cause I can tell already,
I’ll miss you.
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4. |
Small Lake City
04:04
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It looks more like a city
but it’s always Small Lake City.
The way home is always shorter even if it’s uphill-
tell them I’m back because I can’t afford anywhere else,
it’s a half truth.
I even ran into my dad.
I haven’t been back to that Smith’s since.
Everywhere I go replays another episode.
I used to joke I quit between drags-
She can’t quit writing songs about him,
I can’t quit buying packs.
It started at the window,
I don’t remember what he did-
snuck in through the window,
I blacked out;
she has a child now.
Everywhere I go, I feel so close yet so removed.
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5. |
Albatross
06:09
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Like felines flirting under a door,
moans and raised hair, was that all we were?
Straining to reach through the crack,
never reaching up to turn the knob back.
Is this a ritual dance or a fight?
Monogamous birds that wouldn’t take flight-
Wear you around my neck the rest of my life,
I wouldn’t spare a feather.
Met a heart heavier than my own,
didn’t sink the same rate, it fell that way though.
Once an anchor, now a drag-
when you decide to resurface call me back.
You’ve got me beat, beat, beat.
Sweating under water, made it to Salt Lake shore-
Wear you around my neck the rest of my life,
I’m not breathing any better.
If you want more time
here it is.
I’m still young but I can’t kid myself into thinking I don’t give a damn.
Time is all I have.
I don’t regret a feather.
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Cat Ghost Formerly Known As Ghost Cat Wendover, Utah
The worst vegans you'll ever meet.
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